Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
