I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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