Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
