I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize