Are we in a gay sports bar?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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