ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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