i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
