Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The struggles of a small town man whore
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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