My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Holy shit dude........stairs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
