They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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