Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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