So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
