i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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