ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
