On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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