Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
