how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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