she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
