Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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