Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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