My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
