based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
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I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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