I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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