wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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