Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
