first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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