so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
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At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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