fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize