hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize