yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
