I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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