She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
