He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
