I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
