seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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