That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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