Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
