it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.