Whod you bang
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
