she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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