He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
