i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You've changed since you got that strap on
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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