can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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