Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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