I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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