i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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