so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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