I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you win again, gameday.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
