I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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