So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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