True but thats because hes a fetus.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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