Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
