I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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