thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
