the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
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The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
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Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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