Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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